Re|emergence
A Writer’s Cicadian
Re|emergence from Motherhood
Michelle Grover
I do not recall the first emergence of the
17-year Brood X cicadas during my lifetime:
I was five, growing up in the Midwest.
And according to my mother – I was terrified.
In time, the newly hatched nymphs fell
from the treetops, succumbing to silence.
And I moved forward, forgetting they even existed
as I made my way through playground tunnels
and piano lessons … and a long, awkward adolescence …
slowly but surely becoming a young woman.
By 17, I’d met the man I would marry. And
after a brief stay in the South for university,
we moved back to the Midwest – in time for
the massive re-emergence of 2004.
This time, the Brood X band exploded on the
Earth in biblical proportions – just months after
our firstborn reluctantly exited my body.
And his low-pitched colicky cries played counterpoint
to the high-pitched cacophony of the periodical cicadas’
percussive reproduction.
For this past 17-year cycle, their Homopteran trek somehow
seemed to synchronize with my Homo sapien journey. As
they journeyed down into the earth, I followed
a profoundly parallel passage into Motherhood.
And regardless of the stay-at-home-mom stereotypes,
I promise – I have not been just sleeping these past 17 years.
Like the periodical cicadas, assumed inert, I have been largely
“conscious and active,” digging in, doing the hard work,
instinctively tunneling and toiling. Though unnoticed – important.
I did not realize the mole hills and mountains
I would be asked to move. Or that we would move back
to the South. But I have endured, working through so much dirt
… and red clay … while I make sure my offspring have
everything they need for their own eventual journeys.
It is, at long last, 2021. My firstborn is 17,
and the earth is heating up as he readies himself to
emerge into young adulthood. I am terrified and
terribly proud in the same heartbeat.
As journalists percussively tap their keyboards,
rushing to report this month’s re-emergence, I hear this loud
and clear: Now is your time – to come back up –
for fresh air and good sex – and to shed the heaviness of this season
as the cicadas discard their exoskeletons. So as my soul
flies upward with the sparks and this evening’s still-sonorous cicadas,
I beg you: Bear with me in my noisy disturbance
as I seek to make the most of my brief existence.
Michelle Grover
Writing Coach & Community Host
Michelle has a background in special education and writing and recently completed a graduate certificate in Theopoetics. She enjoys coaching writing (both in-person and online) and hosting monthly writers’ gatherings in her family’s renovated barn at Enoree Grove. Having previously published two youth Bible studies, Michelle is excited to release her debut middle-grade novel Voice of a Servant this winter! For upcoming events and publications, Michelle invites you to follow @vineandshoots on Instagram
and to check out her blog at vineandshoots.com.
Photography by Artem Balashevsky