Judas at the Supper
Judas at the Supper
Jonnie Wintle
Última Cena - Juan de Juanes
Judas sits among the friends
the salt, the bag and the snarl
I see his back serpentine in movement
I wonder, should I thank him?
should I fall on my knees for he who betrayed the Lord?
The last betrayer
condemned to hang on a tree
and the fruit too bitter for him
who drank the wine and ate the bread
destruction poured upon his head.
Yet do I now talk of him?... or him?
I used to think them diametrically opposed
but now I cannot split the hair that lies between
betrayer and betrayed
the difference of but a letter
and yet my soul rests in both their hands
should I thank him for that which I could not do?
to give my life away that others may come?
throw all hope to the midday darkness
and expect not a ray of sun?
he had resurrection
but he had only crucifixion
for me and mine he went out in the darkness
and in the utter night made possible the day
what anguish and unfathomable grief
to seize the heart of the lips that kissed
and return the 30 silver pieces
30 lumps of impossible burden
to gain the world and count it loss
and to have sold the rope
and bit the hand
to know the fate and have dug the pit
unsearchable the loss, the desperation
tell me lord, did you weep for him
for whom no visitor came to see
hanging lifeless from the other tree?
Lord, did you love him, did you love him to the end?
Judas, my brother
you did what I would do
and but that you were first
I am here and you are there.
Judas, my likeness
think not my restraint holiness
I am too timid, too weak
too passionless to act with such consequence
and for what I do I seek no recompense
both born to die
upon those primal trees
one to keep the sickly cycle spun
the other to declare ‘that it is done’
Jonnie Wintle
Anglican Pastor & Poet
Jonnie is a pastor in Sydney and writes frequently for his Church community. This is his first poetry publication.
Painting by Juan de Juanes