Lord, I Need Thee

Olguine Brutus

I’ve been despairing and desperate
unclung and humdrum
marching to the beat of being undone
and letting the fears that I’ve claimed, have the best of me

Best of me? I mean the worst of me!
Because I have become the worst of me
There are parts of me that cannot breathe,
that cannot be

Lord, I need Thee
I need You to come in!
But I have closed the door and bolted it
and it’s just me in here
with all my fear
In the darkness, I now call my home

Lord, I need Thee
and it’s weird to me
but I’m starting to like it in here
And forget what it’s like to be, out there, with You

Lord, I need Thee
In here, this dark place
it feels like I can be myself
Be the person that I used to be
Among all of these broken things
and all the words that tell me that I’ll never be

Lord, I need Thee
I’m here in this space of me
that I created just for me
in the place that I’ve always been
So why is it that in here,
I feel like I no longer belong?

Lord I need Thee
I can see the light bleeding in,
making its way through the cracks
from the other side of the door
And I think to myself,

Can I really not go back to who I once was?

Lord, I need Thee
On bended knees,
I plead to my old ways to take me back to who I used to be,
when I was happy,
…but wait,
now that I think about it…
I know in my heart, that I never really was

Lord, I need Thee
Now the memories are flooding in to me
and I take into account how I really was

broken
defeated
constantly deflated
drowning in tears
suffocated in fear

longing for change
craving it
needing it
hiding from it
hoping for it
praying for something that I never thought would come

Lord, I need Thee
Please come into it
In this mess of me
In this dark side of me
In this part of me that I don’t ever let them see
And destroy the person I once was

Lord, I need Thee
please see me
save me
redeem me
from the mess of me
and make me like Your son

Lord, I Need Thee
Lord call out to me
Protect me, love me so that I may never return to the place where I use to be
Lord, I need Thee
Lavish me with all of Your love.

Olguine Brutus
Creative Writer & Designer

Olguine is a writer who loves to capture the feelings of moments. Her work touches on travel, lifestyle, and creative poetry. You can read more of her writing on Ohmyjourney.com

Photography by Elise Wilcox