On Hearing the Kaddish Over Zoom

On Hearing the Kaddish

Over Zoom

Jessie Epstein

The rabbi is much more comfortable speaking in Hebrew 
than English, as well he should be
Our language of prayer is glottal, often
stopping itself for fear of truly being heard;
that is why we pre-write our grief
so it can flow like water at its appointed time
And, also, because we are no strangers to death

In my favorite play, a secular Jew must deliver
the Kaddish over a man he hates, a victim of
his generation’s plague (no one can bless our enemies 
better or with more venom) and he can’t quite
remember the words (how do you mourn 
what never should have happened?)

This is not the last time death will visit in the worst 
of circumstances, at the worst of times
(the other reason we use the same prayer is 
we do not accept no for an answer)
“Speedily, and soon,” we dutifully recite,
until our aid gets the memo, and our
bitter water is turned into wine

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Jessie Epstein
Writer & Actor

Jessie is a writer and actor based in Los Angeles. Her work has previously appeared in Illinois’s Best Emerging Poets, Having Wings: Poems for Advent, and synchronized-swim.com. For more of her work, visit www.jessiegepstein.com.

Photography by Anh Nguyen